LEE REPORTS -7 NEW WAYS TO GET TO HELL
So here we are at the beginning of the second quarter of 2008. It would be a fair statement I think you’ll agree, that things have not gone smoothly so far this year. We are still involved in a very unpopular war, the stock market has fallen about 10%, the US dollar is at record lows, gas and commodity prices are going through the roof, home foreclosures are rising at a record pace, the mortgage mess is leading to a meltdown in the financial services sector, the fifth largest investment bank had to be bailed out, thousands of people have lost their jobs and global warming threatens life as we know it on our small planet, need I go on?
So in the midst of what can only be described as a crisis, the Vatican has just released 7 new deadly sins, which if violated, could earn you a one way ticket to hell. Just what the world needs, more rules, regulations and more importantly more things to feel guilty about. Let me say at the outset that while I was born Jewish, most of my religious training and background comes from the Catholic Church. It’s a long story that I need not delve into at this time.
About 25 percent of the world’s population is Catholic so these new rule changes (because that’s what they are) affect a lot of people. Just as a refresher, the seven original deadly sins are: Pride, Avarice (greed), Envy, Wrath, Lust, Gluttony and Sloth. On top of those, we have the 10 commandments, thou shall not lie, kill covet thy neighbor’s wife and so on. The breaking of these commandments could also get you an eternal seat in the hot place.
The Vatican said last month that the world has new opportunities mostly due to technology and with that comes new responsibilities, hence the seven new deadly sins. In case you missed them here they are: Drug Dealing, Abortion, Pedophilia, Causing Social Injustice, Polluting, Genetic Engineering, and my personal favorite, Being Obscenely Rich. What interesting to me is that three of these new deadly sins are illegal the others are not.
I mean no disrespect by this but are you guys kidding? Most religions are based on laws dating back thousands of years, many of which have nothing to do with what’s relevant in 2008. All Religion, is losing followers in droves. I would respectfully suggest that the religions of the world make it more appealing to be religious not more difficult.
Let’s take a look at some of the new deadly sins.
Drug Dealing:
Doesn’t tobacco and alcohol kill more people each year than drug dealers do? What about using illegal drugs? What about drunk driving and second hand smoke? Do we get a pass on that? If someone is dealing drugs, then someone is buying and using them. Is dealing worse than using? There are more users than dealers.
Pedophilia:
Perhaps our friends in Rome haven’t bought a newspaper in the last ten years. I seem to remember reading somewhere that some of its more stalwart members have had some issues with this pedophilia thing in the past. People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
Polluting:
I wish they were more specific here because we are all guilty of polluting in one form or another. Every time we start the family car we are polluting. I don’t think Hell can hold the entire planet unless they are planning a massive expansion project. Cattle passing gas contributes to global warming isn’t that polluting? Where do we send those cows to India?
Causing Social Injustice:
What?
Being Obscenely Rich:
Hello? The Catholic Church, by many accounts is the second largest land owner on the planet right behind the Mormon Church. The Church also is the proud owner of the largest art collection known to mankind. Could I get a ruling on when one crosses the line from just being rich to being obscenely rich? Is there a dollar breakpoint that I am not aware of? I guess this means that we’ll be seeing more of people like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet in church on Sundays. Pass them the basket first if you please. Oh yea, what if one is obscenely rich and donates oodles of money to the Church? Does that mean there is some special dispensation? I think we need a ruling here.
Personally, I think these new deadly sins are for the most part, a bit weak and require a more detailed explanation. It’s all about marketing guys. The object is to attract people not turn them off. Perhaps the Vatican can hire some Madison Avenue marketing consultants and give us a rewrite say in about 50 years when I am dead and buried.
In the meantime, as a public service I would like to add my suggestions for the new seven deadly sins. They are:
Parking in a handicapped zone
Not braking for small animals
Allowing your cell phone to ring in the movies, theatre or church or confessionals
Speaking too loudly on that cell phone when it does go off,
Breaking wind in small enclosed places like elevators and confessionals
Hogging the TV clicker
Leaving the toilet seat up – That one’s for the ladies
So there you have it. I think my list would make everyone happy, and makes the world a better place to live in. More importantly, the list is doable by each and every one of us.
Finally, if we all lived by the Golden Rule, “Treat others as you would want to be treated” the world would be a better place to live in. The guy or gal who wrote that really got it right! Someone call the Vatican please!
Lee Degenstein has covered the financial markets for print and broadcast media for more than 15 years. Mr. Degenstein was also the news director and morning anchor at two major radio stations in New Jersey. He has been a reporter/contributor to United Press International, The Associated Press, The Mutual Broadcasting System and New York 1 News. A winner of the Associated Press award for 'best business story' he lives and works in New York City. Mr. Degenstein can be reached by email at: lee723@verizon.net© Copyright 2008Lee Degenstein.All rights reservedwww.leereports.blogspot.com