CAN’T GET NO SATISFACTION - WHY NOT SUE?

By Lee Degenstein

Sue used to be a lady’s name. Unfortunately it has taken on a whole new meaning in the English lexicon. It has become quite apparent over the years that America has become a litigious society. We sue for everything no matter how ridiculous. This is of course just one reason that the court system is so backed up, and insurance rates so high. Some of the lawsuits mentioned herein are really frivolous, some are just plain stupid but all are real and a matter of public record.

Here’s one for the record books (no pun intended). The rock group The Rolling Stones were scheduled to perform in Atlantic City on Friday October 28th of this year. Unfortunately for “Stones” fans the concert had to be canceled due to Mick Jagger’s (who must be close to 70) sore throat. It’s something that could happen to anyone right? Apparently Rosalie Druyan didn’t quite see it that way.
In a class-action suit filed in Manhattan Supreme Court, Druyan contends the late cancellation cost her and other fans big bucks on nonrefundable hotel reservations, forcing them to spend the night in cold and rainy Atlantic City. She is suing the Stones and Jagger for $51 million dollars. She claims the paid money to get to Atlantic from her Brooklyn home and paid for a hotel room to boot. Ms. Druyan gets her legal advice and representation from her husband Martin, who happens to be an attorney.
Many have heard of case of 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled a cup of McDonald’s coffee on her arm and won $1.97 million dollars for her pain and suffering. In this case it’s important to note that she was not pushed, the plastic cap did not come off of the cup. She simply spilled the contents on herself by herself and won her case.
Here are some of the little known cases taken, from Stella Awards.com and from court records. By the way the “Stella” of Stella Awards.com was named after Stella Liebeck mentioned in the MacDonald’s lawsuit.

Kara Walton of Claymont, of Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a nightclub when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink spill and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The owners of the house were on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

But the winner has to be this case. Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

As I see it there is plenty of blame to go around. The trial lawyers get one third of any monetary awards given to the plaintiff. There should be limits put on monetary awards. We have to remember that it’s the Juries who award damages. People like you and me, who don’t want to be on a jury in the first place, hand out money like they were printing it themselves.

I have come up with the perfect business solution. I always wanted to start a chain of Jewish Sushi restaurants located near the courthouses in all the major US cities. The name of these establishments of course would be “So Sue Me”!